Now Chef Ramsay not only cracks me up, but also turns me on! Yes people I had a sex dream about the grouchy chef. I need to get some cock soon, this is getting out of hand (get it? using my hands alot). He was teaching a class- not cooking, it was like a combination gym class and report writing, and I went over to hand him my report. I was wearing a silky little top, something I would really wear to bed, without a bra underneath. Why I was wearing that to a gym class I don't know, maybe it was a strip dancing class, I vaguely remember hanging and swing from a bar bolted to the ceiling. But there were men in class too, dreams are weird aren't they?

So, I hand in the report and he casually reaches out and fondles one of my breasts while I stand there allowing it. Then I woke up. JEEZ, I can't get any hard-core even in dreams!!

It is official, Gordon Ramsay cracks me up ;) I don't know why it is so freakin hilarious to watch him berate those people scurrying around in his kitchen but it is. And, yay for air-conditioning! After a very long day spent stepping around the a/c guy and trying to work I am alone and a cool 76 degrees right now. Too cool? Give me a call and we will heat things up quickly.

It's gettin hot in herrrre, because I need a new a/c unit that's why. Damn, can think of many other ways to get hot and enjoy it. Today I took refuge in a cool dark movie theater. Saw 21, which is a modern Risky Business. I give it a B-, for having too many shots of playing cards and some moments that didn't really make sense. Exposition of those would have been a better use of screen time then close-ups of cards in my opinion. Also, why even have Kate Bosworth hook up if you aren't going to show it? So I'm in front of the fan wearing next to nothing, call me!

And, if you are on a budget or need a little inspiration before calling, check out the link I added today, Celebrity Fantasies. All hot women, all the time.

Happy Easter Everyone! Visited my family and had a nice laid-back holiday with some of my nieces and nephews, friends, etc. My sister and I shared a good bottle of Mirrosuo (Sp?) chard and we all indulged in honey ham. Also, I have a spray-tan! My first one. And, appaerantly Paris isn't so retarded or maybe I am cuz I totally did it wrong and had to put the provided robe on my naked self and call the attendant for help. Hey, who knew the special button thingy that turns it on was down there (not as sexual as that sounds lol) or that slathering lotion on the hands and feet was necessary. I kinda like the sudden tan but was it worth $30? Not sure.
So, the good holidays are over and the summer begins. Sounds like it's time to get comfy with the phone again.

Well that was the longest time I ever spent in bed without enjoying it. Feeling much better today, even had some food! Did receive two issues of W back to back for entertainment. They had the incredible deal of 12 issues for $8.00 so I signed up, why not, I get lots of fashion mags. Now I know why I never subscribed to W. It is huge, glossy and very fashion-y, too much so. I like a little downtown grit with my style, W is all about socialite perfection, over-designed stiff-looking clothes that may cut you if you stand to close to the woman. It has the feel of Ivana Trump as editor- whom I love but don't want fashion advice from.

Not only that but the make-up was all wrong. Their market is obviously older women who shop at Neiman Marcus, yet they are pushing dark smoky eyes and the pale nude lip. Put that on a woman who is 40 or better and you have a 60's-80's throwback who will look washed out and aged.

Magazines that try too hard to be 'hip' and don't actually give you a good look at the featured garments are just as annoying. hmm, maybe I am just exceedingly hard to please in this area. The egg I slightly overcooked for breakfast is sitting still in my stomach, now that pleases me!

Sick, hardcore digestive upset. Will be back as soon as I can.

Alerts! When the Niteflirt call button for me says, "alerts on" that means go ahead and call :) During the day I may be taking a shower, vacuuming or getting the mail, and if your call comes through while I'm doing any of the above the system will ask you for a time frame in which our call can take place. I don't set myself to 'alerts' unless I am home and ready to talk, so normally I will email you back quickly to let you know I am back by the phone.

In other news, I am attempting to teach myself to sew. The nice lady who sold the sewing machine to me said that sewing is easy, she's been doing it since she was eight years old. (!) Of course some sewing former child prodigy would say that, it's like those annoying people who think skiing is so easy because their parents strapped skis on them at 5 years old. Not so easy for the rest of us buddy!

That's okay though, when I figure it out- and I will- redecorating will be so much more fun. The ability to control the exact color, print, size and trim of things will be great. Got it threaded and bought lefty scissors so watch out Christopher Lowell. So I end the least sexually stimulating post ever, call me soon I promise not to talk about the new endeavor.

Reminded to post today by a caller who enjoyed reading my blog in the past, here I am! What can I say, phone sex is very distracting in the best possible way. Before working from home, the annual spring back time change was a dreaded event. It meant I was doomed to be late for everything, late and/or tired. Now that tiresome schedules are in my past, I kinda like it. Callers usually show up pretty late at night, and for now at least staying up until 2am or a bit past is a breeze. The reasoning behind the time alteration is quite stupid though. When it was instituted the idea was to save electricity- when the most electricity that was used was from lighting. Welcome to now, where we use air-conditioning and thanks to the time change lots more of it.

Rant over. It's nice to be blogging again :)

Big thanks to all who commented on the previous post- no we didn't make it on TV but it was fun as hell anyway! Now it's Superbowl Sunday and so hard to wait for gametime to start the party. I turned on the listing hoping to get some fun calls and use this time in a great way. Weird how even though I don't really follow either of the teams in today's game it's still exciting. I'm making chili and the wine is in the fridge.

Last weekend I flew down to Florida to visit friends and party at Gasparilla. We tivo'd the live coverage of the parade just in case we or someone we knew were on TV, had a great time at the party and basically collasped when we got back to her place. Sunday, while having a relaxing brunch and sitting in her living room we watched the coverage where to our surprise and delight one of the Tampa morning anchors, Gayle Guyardo who was doing the parade commentary, was completely wasted. Seriously, it was like watching Anna Nicole Smith (RIP) attempt to do it.

It isn't weird to get drunk at this particular festival, it is strange to do it while you are WORKING, and don't TV anchors make a lot of money? So she really could have waited until the parade was over (at 4:30 in the afternoon). Did she get fired, reprimanded, or apologize? Hell no. She says she had the flu.

Okay, the flu does not make me jump around wildly, tell co-workers how hot they are, repeat myself a dozen times and slur my words. I've had the flu and I've been drunk so, yeah, the difference is obvious. The station she works for is affiliated with the newspaper too and the story has been completely squashed.

Any other public figure that behaved this way on their own time , let alone while working, would have endured intense scrutiny by the news media but as she is part of the news media it is as covered up and ignored as possible.

Having been informed that I can't be a MILF without having any kids, and too young for true cougerhood, there is a bit of an identity crisis over here! Whew, glad that passed quickly ;) Excited about the yoga chair I ordered yesterday- hope there isn't too much assembly involved. Of course I won't be doing the assembly unless it's incredibly easy, I'm just thinking about my friend's stress level when he puts it together for me (always thinking about others...). If anyone has one of those kneeling yoga chairs it'd be great to here your thoughts, as a dedicated sloucher I need something to keep this back straight and already found out it is possible to slouch while sitting on a balance ball so that's out.

Artistic checks is a big ol'ripoff so watch out if you order from them. Rant below.
Due to a mix-up in my account number, I called to request that the checks I had bought, paid for be returned and reprinted with the right information. They said they could put in another order for me at half price. Well, the additional money was taken out of my account immediately and I was sent to the bank to have them fax the correct info. Soon I was advised that I needed to go back to the bank for yet more info to be faxed. Not about to go through all that, I canceled the new order. They only refunded part of the money that they took out for the new checks- that weren't even printed yet! So, they have $36 for checks I can't use, plus $8 for, umm, nothing.

Okay enough of that, I hope everyone who celebrates the holidays had a good one, or is at least glad it's over;). Give me a call, I'm on between 9pm and 2am Monday thru Friday.

My wish came true, it is cold outside! Now I have the urge to get naked and all snuggled up in bed with a couple of down comforters on top and pillows all over the place. The phone will be on the nightstand so I can stay there while we chat (winks).

Thank-you Mr. Magic :) Christmas music always helps get me in the mood for the season, I just can't bring myself to hate it in spite of so many others saying they do. Santa Baby is a classic, I prefer the Eartha Kitt version, and the song about how cold it is outside- the Dean Martin one- I just love. It makes me think (fantasize) about being seduced by a smooth man plying me with red wine while snow sparkles outside in the background and there is a fire and cozy rug in front of it. Sigh. Hopefully it will get cold as scheduled soon.

In other news, there is a tennis bracelet stuck on my wrist. Now, jewelry is great, but so is sleeping and showering completely naked so if the catch doesn't let go soon a trip to the jewelers is coming up. Oh my god, it just came off! The miracle of blogging regularly folks, proven here tonight.

I love shopping! Today one of my special friends took me shopping and now I have off-white snow bunny boots, new sexy Seven jeans, and best of all, white gold and diamond earrings! Soo excited- that is the way to get me in the holiday spirit. Football is a good thing too except for my poor Bucs unless things changed in the 4th quarter, but I'm holding out hope that the Colts continue winning today. Presents get me in a naughty mood so call me soon!

The living and dining room are decorated now- that is as far as I go, it's enough to keep the rest of the rooms clean and clutter free, and found an old Barnes and Noble gift card from so long ago its embarrassing- but it miraculously kept its value so I just ordered a fashiony calendar as a gift to myself. The Christmas spirit is working for sure! Even took a couple of pics, they're a little dark as it is nighttime but the night-time is the right time (so corny yet true :)

I was wrong about the running shoe store, it was crowded and all the salespeople were busy. So, no new shoes yet. Guess it's safe to do a little shopping today, the middle of the week is usually best during the holidays. A lovely tree is now in my dining room, can't get enough of the sparkling lights especially when they are the only lights on and I am relaxing with a nice glass of wine listening to Xmas music or watching an old movie.
Rewatching "The Women" last night I actually paid attention to the introduction guy and, did you know there are no men in the film? If you saw it you probably do- I never noticed! And I love men :) Real life men though, can do without Bruce Willis types. A bright sunny day is beckoning me to step away from the computer, I hope everyone is enjoying Tuesday!

Thanksgiving is over and I'm a little relieved, how about you? It is just weird that a big holiday is so focused on eating- yes I'm aware of Feast Days but still, so much time devoted to a meal is hard for me to wrap my mind around. Now we can get down to the real thing- sparkly lights and presents! Why then am I not at a store today you may be wondering, well I take shopping seriously and there are way too many amateurs out there right now for one thing. The ideal shopping experience includes well ordered merchandise, lack of crowding, big peaceful dressing rooms and attentive salespeople. Chances of any of those factors happening today- ZERO!

Except, I bet the running show store will be safe to enter so new running shoes today!

Ok, "Chuck" is the funniest show on TV I have ever seen, hands down. Lots of eye candy too, if you are into that like I am and my friend David is too (he is a bit more involved then me), so I am adding his blog to my links- enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving too, this year I am attempting to gourmet up the classic green bean casserole with fresh mushrooms sauteed in butter. Hopefully it will go over better then imported cheese does at these family get-togethers. If I get a peaceful moment I will turn on my listing so check back when you need a break from the relatives.

Blogger has been weird lately- loading slow and sometimes just unavailable. Trying to put up some pics while I'm here and maybe get someone in the Xmas mood a little early. Everyone knows how I feel about shoes and sexy lingerie, I'm also looking at those stick things you plug into your computer to copy stuff onto as the pictures I have on here take up lots of room on cd's and I have trust issues as far as computers go. I mean, when you're using a Macbook and it's going as slow as my neighbor's 1998 Gateway what the hell?